Thursday, October 18, 2007

Developments at the camp near Offenbach

A piquet of Hillary’s Hussies beyond Offenbach spots a bedraggled officer sneaking towards them in the dark. As they dash forward to seize him, he exclaims: “Frankzonians! Oh Blessed Spirits!” and collapses. When they carry the unconscious man into camp, another officer recognizes the missing Oberst Bratmann!
Brig. Shlidelisht quickly orders him brought to the quarters of L'Haugen Bienz, where they carefully give him a few drops of schnapps. Bratmann revives for a moment, recognizes a friend and exclaims, “Franz, Franz, Die Stagonian marchen!” The battered man collapses again amid the exclamations of alarm from the assembled officers.

L'Haugen Bienz moves quickly to the map table. “Meinen Herren, ve musten machen schnell!
Kommen Sie.” He quickly marks out on his charts new positions, concentrating his forces on the western side of Offenbach. “Im der Morgen,” he continues, “ve shall by ein battalion uff Nathan’s Nationals und der 1st Black Skirts under Brig. Woad be joined. They escort a supply convoy und ein battery uff 24 lbrs. When they arrive, they will our second line immediatly deploy as. Die grosser guns, aber, will be unlimbered against the crumpled section and open fire immediately. Aber, against der vall und stone alone must they fire. When any breach appears, the Reiters will dash forward, discharge their pieces towards the town, and then retire if anyone returns a sinlge shot.
If ve can the Offenbach men out of the town draw, ve may be able to ride ofer dem vithout hurting them too bad.
Remember all! We are hear to protect Offenbach, not destroy it ... it is Stagonia vee must bury und nich praise, Jah?
If we musten the walls assault, we must carry through on the first rush or pull back into our entrenched camp.
This battle must bevore the Vile Stagonians arrive be over!”

As the staff begins to write out the necessary orders, a shout resounds from a guard outside the house where they are working. Soon, a dapper gentleman is dragged into the room by soldiers.
“We caught him beneath the staff room window, Mein Herr,” their corporal reports.
“Ach!” L'Haugen Bienz exclaims, “und, whom might you be? Vile Stagonian Spy!”
“Oh, hardly that!” the captive impudently chuckles .....

4 comments:

MurdocK said...

One young staff officer, of the Pfennighalter brigade pours over the map.

"How is it that we shall be firing at Offenbach in the morning? We are still two days march from the walled town and tuba works." he mutters to the other young ensign nodding at the marks next to him.

Frankfurter said...

On the historical maps I have, Offenbach is about ten to fifteen miles out of Frankfurt on the left bank of the river ... directly across from a Frankfurt outpost, btw.
Furthermore, the initial force was sent prior to the Christening of the Urpprinz Honker ....
:)
A

MurdocK said...

Ah, yes well I was looking to the timing needed to give Fitz-badger a chance to respond - yay or nay to the prospect of 'working' together.

Frankfurter said...

Ah,yes, but then what happens to the chance for you to play with your toys???
:)
Arthur